We’ve all just come through the other side of the year of people shoving deals of the decade in your face. You know, the pre-Christmas Black Friday sales, Christmas sales, post-Christmas sales and now the New Year’s SPACES ARE LIMITED for the Golden Oldies Be Bop concert, and that underwater weaving class that’s part of your New Year’s resolutions.

Life is choices.

Like how you choose to avoid the Christmas small talk about your author career. Such as, how is that manuscript progressing? You know, that book hiding in a file stashed in some deep dark corner of your laptop. And let’s not talk about those plot-filled notebooks partying with the dust bunnies under your bed.

Are you ready to suffer another year of Christmas small talk? Where you just fake-smile at your ex-mother-in-law, as you pass her that gorgeously hand-wrapped bag of petrified mushrooms, ground with turmeric that you handmade with love, as you share the health benefits taught to you on Twitter? When in all honesty, that’s all you had in the fridge because you’d invested your time and money on Netflix, instead of working through this book series! Which is investing in yourself.

Let’s skip next Christmas’s tortuous small talk.

Be desperate enough to avoid your great-aunt’s sermon about what she did in her day when dinosaurs were the size of donkeys, while her patchy poodle licks directly from the turkey’s gravy boat. (Oh, the visuals!)

So let’s have a moment of self-indulgence, where you put down that drink of fossilized fungi, and remember YOUR DREAMS.

Don’t suffer the guilt for following the rules led by others who do not live your life!

Skip the small talk and scream into the void, raise that middle finger, and stab at the bookstore of your choice. Do this for you, for the poodle (suffering with pains from eating too much turkey gravy) for your marriage, for your soul.

Don’t you want to skip the Christmas small talk? Along with that delicious and suspicious egg punch, poodle hair, turkey gravy boats, and the silent but deadly stares from the mother-in-law that says we’ll have to lie to the neighbours for you again.

Start planning for next Christmas by slipping on some noise-cancelling headphones, and get in touch with your inner child by putting yourself into the Time-out corner to focus on yourself.

Yes, you.

Y.O.U.

You were placed on this earth for a reason, buddy…

So how about we close our eyes, and take a deep breath. Hold my hand and let’s step off that teeny tiny ledge that is your future. Where we start by telling you that these books and kits belong to the balls-to-the-wall, no-frills, distraction-free environment.

• NO Facebook Groups
• NO Monthly or Weekly Calls
• NO Local Meetups
• NO Annual Conferences
• Plus it Poodle Proof
• And we’re pretty sure it’s Ex-mother-in-law approved.

We want you to guard your life like a greedy king. Consider this your secret selfish Santa present to yourself—because last year’s gifts sucked—and make this a year that matters to you.

Merry belated Christmas, cupcake.

And before you ask, the poodle is doing fine, thanks. 😊🐩

Pst: This fabulously divine excerpt was from our January newsletter. Where were you to miss such a treasure landing in your inbox?